We develop close friendships throughout our lives, and some of us are lucky enough to keep those friends our entire life. However, this is often not the case. Life never does what you expect it to do, and sometimes that best friend falls away.

This 1970’s photo was sent from my friend, Serin; at one time, we were inseparable like close sisters. We were young, sexy single moms with our children the same ages. We worked at the same places, double dated and partied together, cried and laughed and called each other every day. Then over time, we gradually became different people and emotionally separated, and when I left the country to live in Costa Rica, we physically distanced and didn’t communicate for years. Our personal issues and long-distance created emotional distance.

The weakening or end of a close friendship could happen because of some conflict where we felt wounded or wronged. Or the relationship might have become toxic, or the friend might have died. Whatever the reason, if they were a true heart relationship, you never really lose them. They are always with you, and their influence in your life becomes part of who you are today.

Now in my seventies, I’ve mellowed out my expectations of what a true friend should be. I realize looking back that sometimes what separates us at one time in our life will not seem important years later. My friend Serin and I became very different people with not much in common. But the part of my heart that belongs to her is still very much alive and although our communication has been mostly reduced to social media, I continue to love her, and this picture she sent really opened my heart to some beautiful memories.

Another friend of 30 years just died here in Costa Rica and there was an empty space in my life but not in my heart. She’s still with me.

Over the year’s friends will come and go with many of them friends because of similar interests or situations; friends of convenience. It’s those friends from work or school who after the job changed or we graduated, they just disappeared. Same for those gym buddies, book clubs, or sports groups. Single people when they wed often loose their old single friends and make new friends of other couples.

We lose and make new friends regularly but its those heart-connected people who are never gone no matter how much you both have changed. You see each other after years and the feelings are still as alive as before even if you don’t reconnect like before.

We will all go our way in life and it may seem like our friend didn’t go with us. But all you have to do is look at an old picture, remember a time together or close your eyes and picture their face and they will be present.

Love is like that for me. It can’t be lost.


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